LISTEN

When I ask you to listen to me
and you start giving advice, you have not done what I need.
When I ask you to listen to me
and you begin to tell me why I shouldn't feel that way,
you are trampling on my feelings.
When I ask you to listen to me
and you feel you have to do something to solve my problem,
you have failed me, strange as that may seem.
Listen! All that I asked, was that you listen,
not to talk or do - just hear me.
Advice is cheap: you can get both Dear Abby and Billy Graham in the same newspaper.
And I can do for myself, I'm not helpless.
Maybe discouraged and faltering, but not helpless.
When you do something for me that I can do and need to do for myself,
you contribute to my fear and weakness.
But, when you accept as a simple fact that I do feel what I feel,
no matter how irrational, then I can quit trying to convince
you and can get about the business of understanding what's behind this irrational feeling.
And when that's clear, the answer are obvious and I don't need advice.
Irrational feelings make sense when we understand what's behind them.
So, please listen and just hear me.
And, if you want to talk, wait a minute for your turn,
and I'll listen to you.
-Anonymous